I’m sure you get training in your craft, and I understand it’s difficult, pointless work, but if you can’t skywrite with good kerning WHAT IS THE POINT? If your skywriting is badly kerned, you lose. WE ALL LOSE. Do you understand?

Where: Uh, The ROM.

Oh look, a little poster for an exhibit at The ROM! How nice! Very colourful! It looks like someone spent some time on this! I wonder who the sponsor is? OH YEAH, SENTRY SELECT.

That big colourful clowny word lures you to this layout, then you stub your toe on the word “arts”. Is it arts & crafts or art, like, you know, real art. Paper maché or painting? Sock puppets or sculpture?

Then you read THE GOTH CENTURY. No, I made that one up, although I think I might go see an exhibit of Italian goth paper maché. GET ON IT, BRAD.

Lah dee da, ho hum, reading along, reading along, everything’s fine, then BANG IN THE FACE IT SLAPS YOU.

Over 1 00 years! Over O ne H undred Y ears! Beautiful, where beautiful is a synonym for SHAME, SHAME, SHAME.

P.S. Is that the new ROM logo? Are those lowercase letters TRACKED OUT? DURR.

Where: Now Magazine this week.

I almost missed the terrible kerning in this ad due to the STENCH of SMUG that wafts from Brad Lamb's face. Is he saying all those things from different sides of his mouth?

If you don’t know who Brad Lamb is, listen to the song This Lamb Sells Condos! by Final Fantasy.

OK, this ad. How many tiny mistakes does it take to add up to a failure?

Let’s see!

1. I didn’t know there was such a thing as an EA LIGATURE. What is the keystroke for that, Brad? The headline almost says B RAD S P EAKS.
2. Toronto’s 1 0 Best and Worst Condominium Buildings.
3. Oh what a beautiful hyphen between 7 and 9 pm. EN DASH IS OPTION-HYPHEN! IT’S LONGER AND PRETTIER.
4. “January 2007” then A HUGE SPACE THAT MIGHT BE BIG ENOUGH TO BUILD A CONDO ON DO YOU THINK BRAD?, and then a period.
5. Baseline shift the @ in that email address for THE LOVE OF GOD! CAN’T YOU SEE IT POKING UP LIKE AN UNSIGHTLY WART? GET ON IT BRAD.

That’s it. Five mistakes and you fail.